A life to Live

As a mother who has welcomed two beautiful boys into my life, I know what it is like to look into their eyes and imagine the bright future in the 80 years or so that lay ahead for them.

I too have looked into the eyes of the children from the orphanage here and wondered the very same thing.

In our very limited experience we have only dealt with orphanages that take children from 6-18 years of age. This naturally posed the question 'Where are the babies?' and 'What happens when they leave?'

From varied and sad beginnings babies up to the age of 5 are taken to a baby orphanage, where the hope begins that they be adopted out or reunited with family. Sadly due to the unreliable and unstable Maoist government international adoption agencies have begun to stop their adoption relationships with Nepal. This means in the years to come there are going to be even more children in need of orphanage care.

The babies that are not adopted end up in orphanages like the ones we have been involved with. However, orphanages vary greatly in their ability to care well for the children. Some self funded orphanages are small rented dilapidated buildings in rice fields that are only able to send their children to a government school.

Government schools are given no credence here in Nepal. Classes hold well over 60 students and are run by untrained teachers.

Then there are the orphanages that have private funding and own their own land and are in the position to send their children to a private school.

Whatever their start, the children are without a doubt better off in a safer, healthy and more caring environment. That's their beginnings, but what of their future?

What happens to the children when they reach 16 or 18years and they must leave?  The ideal situation for any child would be further education; this depends upon scholarships, donations or sponsorship. However, without this funding the children are assisted to find a job and their own accommodation.

The children may choose to go back to their village of birth or choose to stay near where they have been living or schooling. Provided it is safe, the children in the cases we have come across are encouraged back to their village on the month long break they have in October, in order to maintain some ties and roots with their heritage and culture.

Whatever their decision, these children are at risk and more vulnerable of being taken advantage of due to their lack of family support and friends to look out for them. The girls in particular are at a real risk of sexual predators.

Assuming all goes well with further education or finding a decent job, my third and final question comes to mind. In a society that relies upon arranged marriages, who arranges their marriage?

Apparently there is nobody to fill this role for them, so I wonder what is to become of these kids in their future. It would appear they must find love in order to eventually be part of some type of true family unit.

x Lisa (thinking too much Mum)

The Front Entrance to the Private School the COTS kids attend

The Private School Playing Oval where the COTS children attend

The Private School Prep Room

Serendipity

As I sat wondering what our next step would be, I reflected on my disappointment that the boys decided against returning to the COTS orphanage. We all really miss the children. However, I understand their decision and support their need to make a stand. Good for them! We have made a commitment though, to help with the education and well being of the children, where possible. I have no doubt these children will be a part of our lives for ever.

However, it had left me feeling a little 'projectless.' I'd hoped for some sign in the days that followed, but nothing had appeared. My original plan was to head way out North West, to a rural area. However, after much discussion with the boys, I felt that may not be in their best interest.

Serendipity is a propensity for making fortunate discoveries while looking for something unrelated.

In walked Denish, Mary and Sally, three beautiful and inspiring people affiliated with the Ten Friends NGO and the Hopeful Home for Orphans and Helpless Children.  

The orphanage owns their own home, which houses 35 clean and well kept children, aged between 5 and 16. The orphanage was bright and cheery, warm and homely. It had a really lovely feel. However, much to the boys' disappointment they still only served Dahl Bhaht at meal times.

Hopeful Home for Orphans and Helpless Children had been the brainchild of two wonderful women with similar backgrounds, Bhubaneswori and Gopini. They were in need of many things, one of which was school supplies.

On behalf of the Hopeful Home for Orphans and Helpless Children, I humbly thank The Southport School community for donating all the school supplies. I can guarantee they have gone to a very worthy place. 

x Lisa (proud Mum)

Taiga handing out pencil sharpeners.

Cody giving out erasers.

Thank you Emmerson and Josh. Your donations will be given to the students who try their hardest.

The kids from the Helpful Home for Orphans and Helpless Children

Goma, Gopini, Lisa and Dinesh

My 10th Birthday

I had chocolate cake and got a t-shirt of my choice, gloves, stickers and trekking poles.  I also got to choose where we ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

For dinner I chose a The Pilgrims' Feed and Read vegetarian restaurant that is at the back of a cool Nepalese bookstore. You have to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. It has lots of old Nepalese artefacts everywhere and some pictures of Buddha, some people meditating and some Hindu gods.

I ordered a vegetarian cheese burger, chips and a lemon soda. I also ate half of Mums pokoras.

From Cody

Cody eating his "healthy and hygienic burger"

Cody and Taiga meditating.

I'm Lucky

The orphanage was really fun. All the kids were nice, except for Gokul. That's the reason I don't want to go back to the orphanage.

It's good to have a Mum that can help you if you are hurt. It's good to be able to go to the doctor when I'm hurt or sick. It's good to have other food besides dahl bhaht and buffalo milk. I really don't like buffalo milk. It's disgusting. I can't believe the kids are really happy. It's good to have a Mum that tells you off, because she loves you. And it's good that she stands up for you and protects you.

I really hope that the kids will be able to have a warm shower one day and that they can buy land and then they will have somewhere to live.

We have talked about the things we would change at the orphanage to make it a better place for our friends to live. Just owning my own shoes, clothes and toys is a privilege.

From Cody

Things I've Learned

We made a decision to leave the orphanage. I will really miss all of the kids. We all had so much fun together. But I don't like two of the men from the orphanage. One always promised that he is going to give us goat or chicken to eat, but he never did.

He also promised other things, but he never brought them. The other man is mean to the kids and he tells lies. I liked Bhakta and Bimila, they were nice to all of the kids.

I learned lots of things from being there. It's good to have a Mum. I learned that I like to be part of a family. I learned that the orphanage kids are the same as me. They study hard, so they can have a better life when they grow up. I understand their lives are better than they were before, but they still don't have much.

I hope the kids will eat better food and that they will be warm in winter time, even though the building is cement and there are no heaters or warm blankets. I really hope they get better smelling bathrooms that don't make you feel sick when you smell them.

We have talked about different ways we can help the kids when we get home. It is good to have been here, so now we know what is needed. Being warm and having nutritious food and people that love you is very important. Owning lots of things are a privilege.

From Taiga

Eyes Wide Open!

Growth is an interesting thing. How do we measure our children's growth? Is it height, weight, maturity or verbal expression? How as a mother, do I acknowledge this growth, when do I nurture it and when do I step back?

The other night, I heard one of my sons come screaming across the roof of the orphanage and down the stairs to our room. It was a blood curdling scream, claiming he'd been stabbed!

There was no blood, but there was drama a plenty. The inexperienced surly teenage tutor, Gokul had lunged at one of my sons with a blunt pair of scissors and had left a faint mark on his stomach. The other son had sprung into action and hung off him like a fox terrier. Granted not a mother's ideal situation, but I'm pleased to say that when the chips were down, the brothers were there for each other.

The lioness stepped up and roared loudly!

Maybe because I am a woman, or because we are foreigners, whatever the reason, Gokul decided to lie about the incident. Bad move, very bad move! Cody and Taiga were completely incensed, that someone of authority could have behaved in such a way.

In times when difficult decisions need to be made, I like to step back from the problem to really get a clear view of what needs to be seen.

We have taken leave from the orphanage for a couple of days for the boys and me to get our heads around the other evening's event. Whilst I don't believe either of the boys has been in any danger, I do think this is a time to step back and evaluate things.

I have allowed the boys complete freedom to make the decision as to whether we go back or not. They both have a huge issue with Gokul, not just about the way he treated them the other night, but how he treats the other children. It is what it is, but it doesn't make it right.

In our discussions I have been amazed at the insight the boys have shown on summing up a couple of the adults that we have been dealing with. They have been very aware of some of the empty promises made to them and the outright lies told as well. Behaviour they have fortunately not been accustomed to, but have now become aware. Children are very good at exposing us for who we are and what we know. They are also very good at exposing us for who we are not and for what we don't know.

I questioned early in the trip if the bonds of brotherhood would be strengthened. Oh, they have! I wondered if they would become young men of integrity. They are well on their way!

x Lisa (nurturing the growth Mum)

Kids

Things I've learned about kids in an orphanage:

1. They don't like to wash very often, unless they discover you have soap and powder.
2. They love lots of kisses and cuddles.
3. They love hearing their names cheered at their soccer match.
4. They love to be tickled.
5. They always want to hold your hand.
6. They try so hard at their school work.
7. They always eat all their dinner.
8. They bleed, they cry and they love band aids.

Do they remind you of anyone you know?

They are just like our kids only they don't have people like us to love them.

x Lisa (just a Mum)

 

Bikesh & Bishal

Sita

Kids Day

Kids Day in Nepal was great fun.

Normally the kids at the orphanage don't do anything special, so we organised lots of games with prizes.

We had handstand competitions, wheelbarrow races, hopping relays, side skip races, dancing and singing competitions and limbo.  All the kids got a present. They really loved our old school shoes, sports shoes and toys.

We also played soccer against some other boys in the village.

Then we finished the day with some yummy treats that we'd bought to share.

All the kids said they had the best day.

From Cody & Taiga

 

Kids Day

Life in an Orphanage

Life in an orphanage is quite fun apart from the food. The kids all like playing and cuddling me. Sometimes they are a bit smelly, but they can't help it. They don't have tissues, so they don't blow their noses. They sniffle a lot. They don't own anything of their own. They have to share everything.

It is the end of rainy season, so it still rains quite a bit. There is a local washing area in the village where you wash, but you have to keep some clothes on. It is very cold.

The village has a very cool irrigation system. They catch water from the melting snow higher up and direct the water to the washing area and down through the village so people can water their crops and wash their clothes.

We had to walk for 2 and ½ hours to the market today and then home again to buy some treats for the kids, because tomorrow is Kids Day in Nepal. We are all excited about kids' day tomorrow. We also emailed dad. We miss him.

Shree, one of the boys hurt his foot. Mum thinks it could be broken. Bhakta and Bimila put curry powder and cow manure on it to fix it.

I think I am very lucky that I have a Mum and Dad that love me. I like that we have a variety of food available at home.  I like that we have hot water, a bathroom that doesn't stink and power.

From Taiga

Taiga helping Sagar with homework

Sita, Shree, Taiga & Isha

Taiga & Cody walked for 4 hours to get chips and cookies for kids day.

Teej

As I stepped out from the low wooden door of a neighbour's house, adorned in a red sari, jewellery and red bangles like a newly wed bride, the crowd erupted into loud, enthusiastic, cheers and clapping. The white woman had arrived!

Everywhere we went on Teej, the Hindu Women's Festival, women wore beautiful red saris. Women were on the streets, in buses, temples and other public places singing and dancing.

Traditionally married women fast for the long life and good health of their husbands, whereas unmarried women fast in the hope of getting a good spouse. Married women wear their red wedding sari. Unmarried women or widows wear a different colour sari. Can you imagine having a party where you re-wear your wedding dress with all your girlfriends each year!

My new friend Hari invited us to his home for lunch during this special festival. He explained it was very good for the women, as they are considered second class to the men in society. It was their time to be boss. Just as he ordered his fasting wife and mother in-law to make us all lunch! As I protested, he explained "wee arr nut farsting, eet tees only they, wee should not bee da ones to esufferr."  I couldn't help wondering if it was Hari or me who missed the point.

After returning to our village, the local women invited me to the temple to dance and sing with them. I couldn't sing and judging from all the laughter, they thought I couldn't dance either. Despite the fact that they all kept telling me how good I was.

"Meeess you moust tak off yourr clothees." A Nepali woman tugged at my pants and dragged me to a room in her house.

As I stood there uncomfortably in my underwear with six Nepali women looking me over, a couple of thoughts went through my head. The first, I wished I'd worn my good undies and the second; maybe the time had come to introduce myself.

A red sari and jewellery appeared. The women pulled and tugged and pinned me into the new red outfit.

"Meeess you mousta bee keeping yourr eyezas closeed or eet weell nout bee good forr you." They painted my face with pink make up, tikas and red lipstick, all the while saying "Oohh, noow, you arre reealy beautifool"

After my enthusiastic official introduction to the party and the local female community, I was treated like royalty all evening. There is a scene out of the movie 'Mama Mia' where everyone danced around Meryl Streep, who was dancing up a storm. I was Meryl Streep! In fact, I danced right out of my sari!

My rather embarrassed sons just shook their heads in disbelief, my other fourteen charges screamed and cheered with delight.

x Lisa (it's good to be a woman, Mum)

Lisa celebrating Teej Festival

Death By Dahl Bhaht

I wonder, is it possible to die from eating the same food breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you are what you eat then we are fast becoming stodgy, wet and yet frightfully spicy! Dahl bhaht, dahl bhaht, dahl bhaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhtt!!!!!!!!!!

Even Morgan Spurlock, in his Michael Moore inspired documentary, could order what he wanted from the menu when he stuck to a strictly McDonalds diet in 'Super Size Me'.

It hasn't even been a week and I honestly don't think we'll survive the food. As well as our dahl bhaht diet. There are no corner stores so we are having Micropur in our tap water to avoid any nasty bugs. It tastes like pool water. An indoor heated over chlorinated pool. Remember there is no refrigeration. I have carefully read the instruction to our travel size Micropur, it says to add 10ml to every 100 litres. Seriously!!! Who travels with a 100 litre drink bottle!

I really think I'm starting to go crazy due to lack of protein. I have even taken to talking to the neighbours goats, stroking them and telling them how much I like them. I like them so much; I'd like to see them on the end of my fork! That is if I had one!

However, like all situations you need to try and look for the bright side. All this rice has sorted out our tummies. So much so that there is no longer any movement at the station shall we say? This is just as well, because as I have already mentioned, one eats with their right hand and washes with their left. It seems a simple enough concept. Then could someone please tell me why the tap in the bathroom is on the right?

Steve, just curious, is this considered an emergency; will our insurance company organise a food drop?

x Lisa (In desperate need of some salad Mum)

Orphanage Food

Food in an orphanage is terrible! We eat a lot of meals, but they are all the same.

I hate meal time, even though I'm hungry, because all we eat is dahl bhaht!!

We are currently pretending to have a rest, but we are really eating all the crackers that we have left in our bags. I really wish we hadn't already eaten our Tim Tams that Nonna gave us.

The kids are all really nice though. They're fun to play with and sometimes they want to cuddle me.

From Cody

Cody with Dahl

Dahl Bharf

Hhhheeeeelllllpppp!!!!! I'm being terrorized by dahl bhaht!!!

From Taiga

Feeding Time

Food is a huge part of our lives. I think I can comfortably say the Corbetts generally live to eat. However, we are experiencing a whole new way of life, eating to live.

Bhakta does a fantastic job preparing meals for all the children including us. His specialty is dahl bhaht (white glutinous rice and yellow, spicy water. It's not my favourite, but clearly it is what his budget allows. We've had it for breakfast and dinner every day and lunch most days.

6am: Our day starts. The children brush their teeth, roll up their mattress and begin their studies. The Corbetts included.

8am: They all have a warm glass of buffalo milk, my kids included. It comes freshly delivered in a milk tin from the lady across the road each morning. I am given a sweet milky tea, also made from 'Buff' milk. I actually enjoyed it this morning.

8.30 Usually dahl bhaht for breakfast, however this morning was something different, it was a mix of dry puffed rice and some spices. It was very chewy and difficult to swallow. The boys did well, some accidentally spilled into my pocket, which was later emptied into the bushes down the road. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

10.30am: Lunch time, again dhal bhaht, however the children were at school yesterday so Bhakta showed me how to make Roti for lunch. The boys and I welcomed the change.

5pm: Afternoon tea is served, and it can be anything. Usually black tea with two plain dry slightly stale bread rolls, but we did have dry cookies the other day.  

8pm: Dinner is served, again, dahl bhaht.

Whilst it is true the boys and I are finding the menu a little limited. We are remembering our place and always gratefully accept our meals. Yes, it is true that we may run screaming from dinner parties in years to come, should we be offered anything resembling dahl bhaht or rice for that matter, and the mere mention of 'buff' may in fact make us 'barf', there is an upside to the meals.

The meals run as follows, we all rinse our hands under a tap. We don't touch a thing and sit at the long wooden table and wait to be given our plates. We tuck our left hand away. Because we all know what that is used for! And it is. The right hand is our only utensil, no matter what the meal.

Once you are handed your plate, you don't wait! I can honestly tell you, you have never seen anything like it. Man these kids can eat!

They shovel, shove, slurp and burp their way through dinner.  Not a drop is spilt! They literally lick the last morsels from the plate!

I am proud to say that both my kids at this stage accept their plates humbly and eat what they are given. Only three and a half weeks to go.

Admittedly the boys and I don't eat with quite the same gusto.

x Lisa (slightly over dhal bhaht Mum)

Can you spot Cody and Taiga?

The Lucky Ones

As it wheezed, sneezed, jerked and lurched its way along the road from inner Kathmandu to Kitipur, a town at the southern end of the Valley. The taxi filled to the brim with fumes, dust and us. The boys keeping one eye on the road, the other on our bags balanced precariously on the roof. Not tied down! We made the drive in record time.

As we pulled up in front of a very ordinary looking building at the foothills of the mountains surrounding the Kathmandu Valley, I wondered momentarily, could this be it? As my eyes swept from the roof to an open door, I saw them, a curious group of smiling children.

When we met with Hari, from COTS (Children off the Streets) at KEEP (Kathmandu Environmental Education Centre), he expressed some concerns about taking western children to a Nepali Orphanage. Will they sleep on the floor? What will they eat? How will they bathe?

My reply was simple; we will live as everybody else does at the orphanage.

We spent our first afternoon on the rooftop, flying kites and making paper planes. The kids loved it; both my boys who demonstrated how to make the planes, and the children that carefully followed the instructions on how to make and fly them.

Friendships were quickly formed with Cody and Taiga.

There are 14 children currently living here, with 2 more girls due to arrive during our stay. They range from ages 6-14, we think. Nobody seems sure on exactly what age the children are.

They are all polite, have their own heartbreaking stories to tell and are in desperate need of attention.

There are three staff members, Bhakta, he is the cook.  Bimila, she cleans and washes the clothes and Gokul who acts as an inexperienced teenage tutor. None of them speak English.

The children are encouraged to bathe in the public bathing area or in the rain once a week. That's only during the school term; they don't wash on school holidays at all. Just for the record, we are still bathing daily. There is no soap, no tissues, no toilet paper, no hot water, no refrigeration and no sheets on their beds and only a few hours of electricity a day.

And yet, they are happy. They are the lucky ones, chosen from a long waiting list of hopefuls.

The alternative life for these children could be very different. They could be living on the streets sniffing glue and begging tourists for money or being sold into child labour or brothels in India, as are some of their siblings.

As both my boys went to sleep last night, they cuddled in close and told me they loved me. I know they meant it and I know they know who the lucky ones really are.

x Lisa (very grateful Mum)

Making Paper Planes

The Gods Have Willed It This Way

Some say you can count your friends on one hand. You know a friend the moment you meet them. Personally I have always been a little cautious with new people in my life.

Not Baba Shretha, she says we were meant to meet, and become friends, the gods have willed it this way.

On our first morning in Kathmandu, the boys and I keenly explored the outskirts of Thamel near where we are staying.

After some small talk Baba and I discussed the issues of importance in her beloved Nepal.

She is a simple shop worker; she works from morning till evening when it is closing time. She has no time off. She's happy to have a job.

It was during our chat that she told me the gods had willed us to meet.

We had toys, she had sick kids.

She began organising for us to meet with her friend Dr. Rupa Shaham, a doctor in a children's' cancer hospital. The children come from poor families in rural areas. They have nothing. Not even their health.

I have had the heart breaking decision, as to where the toys we have, should go. We are leaving to work in an orphanage on Wednesday. It is only small with 16 children ranging in age from 5-14. I chose this orphanage for many reasons. I chose this orphanage, not with my heart, but with my head.

Sadly I have been faced with the decision of who is more deserving of the toys we have with us.

Do we give them to the 40 poor children suffering from cancer or the 16 orphans that are about to become part of our lives for the next 3-4 weeks? I have agonised over this decision for days.

We have come to the embarrassing conclusion that we just don't have enough to give to the sick children and so the orphans will receive our toys. I know it sounds harsh and I feel so ashamed. I have cried many times over this decision.

How do I tell my new friend Baba Shretha, who has placed so much faith in my ability to help make some sick children feel better?  

Why have the gods willed it this way?

x Lisa (inadequate Mum)

Singing Voice

Since our arrival to Kathmandu we have explored the winding labyrinth of pot-holed streets. People call to us to check out their wares. As we make our way down through the maze, we gravitate to that which interests us.

On every corner, there is always a shop with metal singing bowls used in meditation.

As the holder of the bowl runs their wooden stick around the brim of the bowl it should begin to resonate and sing a beautiful 'song' to aid meditation.

Just what every nine year old Gold Coast boy needs. So Cody and Taiga tell me.

However try as he might, the bowls have continued their silence for one of my sons. They have refused to utter a sound.

Everywhere we've been they are there, taunting him with their perfect roundness and resonating singing voices. Yet each time he moved the stick carefully around the bowl it would not sing. There was only silence. Each time he'd leave the shop a little more dismayed at not having yet found his bowl.

Like all parents I have tried to justify the bowls stubbornness to perform for him.

"Of course this bowl won't sing for you. It's clearly not your bowl!"

And, so the search continued to find his bowl. Every chance he got he attempted to find his bowl.

Kathmandu is full of magic and mystery and tonight it wove some of its magic. We found a shop where the bowls had lots of voices; many of them loved the way he played them. They sang loudly, softly, high and low.

Needless to say we went back this morning for their best morning price.

x Lisa (relieved Mum)

 

Minds of the Future

Steve and I believe strongly that it's in the mind of the today's children that the future is imagined.

We think it is essential our children learn the importance of sound environmental education, and that they are citizens of the world and not just limit themselves to their country of birth.

It is with great pride that I listen to my sons agonise over ideas that they think will help the Nepalese people.
A couple of their ideas follow.
x Lisa (proud Mum)

How To Improve Rickshaws

I have noticed how tired the Rickshaw drivers get from riding people around.

They are a type of cycle taxi service.

A Rickshaw is a three wheeled bike. Two wheels in the back and one on the front.

A man pedals to give it the power to move.

I have thought that I would like to invent something to make it easier for them. They get very hot and tired!

I would like to replace the front part of the bike of the ancient bikes they currently use with a mountain bike and a simple gear system.

They need thicker wheels and shock absorbers to survive the big pot holes in the roads.

I would also replace the old wooden cart with light titanium that won't rust and deteriorate.

How am I going to make this work?

1. People could donate their old mountain bikes.
2. Hamish Batty's dad could donate light titanium (or he might know someone that can).  It would be tax deductible.
3. I need some engineers to donate their time to help construct them.
4. I need an airline to donate some space to fly them here.

From Cody

How I Can Help Make Nepal a Cleaner Place?

I have noticed that there is too much rubbish in the streets!

I would like to help make Nepal a cleaner and more hygienic place.

My idea is to mulch all of the organic rubbish, which could then be used to fertilize the crops. And recycle all of the plastics.

To be able to do this I will need rubbish bins, one for recycling and one for organic rubbish.

How will I make this work?

1. The Australian government could donate all of their old bins.

2. Stan could donate a plastics recycling machine. This chips the plastic ready for recycling.

3. A truck company in Australia could donate some old trucks to be used as rubbish collection trucks.

This is all tax deductible. So it won't cost people anything.

From Taiga